


blow a kiss at the methane skies

by bi-tlejuice (bi_tlejuice)



Series: adventures of lydia deetz and the b-man [4]
Category: Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice) - Fandom, Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Comfort, Confusing Emotions, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, and thats goldenrat NOT anything to do with lydia, and to make fun of beetlejuice at any opportunity, beetlands, goldenrat, lydia is here for platonic support ONLY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23548306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_tlejuice/pseuds/bi-tlejuice
Summary: "So, just for clarification; you're admitting to me that you are romantically clueless and view me as someone with superior knowledge?" Lydia smirked, spinning on her chair to face him."What, you want it in writing or something?""That would be great- I'm thinking of framing it, actually,"
Relationships: Barbara Maitland/Adam Maitland/Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland
Series: adventures of lydia deetz and the b-man [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690348
Comments: 20
Kudos: 327





	blow a kiss at the methane skies

"God, dunno how you never broke all that pottery," says Beetlejuice, holding out the vase of flowers she'd bumped off the kitchen table and he'd caught before they hit the ground. He's scowling, already having rolled his eyes twice. but his eyes are smiling, warm and impossible to hide. His hair is a soft carnation pink and if she squints she can see the corner of his mouth twitching as if he's trying not to smile. Butterflies stir in her stomach again and she thinks, _fuck._

Though, it's not as if this is the first time she's thought _maybe Beetlejuice is kind of cute_. Exactly when she started feeling- feeling whatever this is, she can't exactly pinpoint because he's been around for almost a year now and she can't remember when she stopped finding it weird and started missing him when he wasn't around. 

The new patch of daisies in the garden catches her eye. Then again, if she really had to choose, it would probably be those.

-

_It wasn't like she'd never noticed the moss before (or the grass or the weeds) that grew on Beetlejuice's suit or in small patches in his hair, but she'd never really stopped to think about how this was actually possible. So, after searching through the house to find him cat-napping in the small patch of sun in Lydia's bedroom while she was at school, she had eagerly nudged him awake. Of course, he'd grumbled and rolled over in hope that she would leave him alone, but Barbara Maitland does not give up. After a minute, she had decided she was done and just started to furiously poke him in the side where Lydia had told her he was ticklish. Immediately he had yowled, not dissimilar to the way Delia's hairless cat does whenever he enters the room. "Babs," he'd grumbled, rolling up and rubbing his eyes with loose fists. " **What**."_

_"You know how you grow grass in your hair?"_

_"I- what? You woke me up to tell me I have grass in my hair? Hate to break it to you, but that's been there for like, hundreds of years."_

_"No, silly. I wanted to ask- can you grow anything?"_

_"Hm? Dunno, never tried." He paused to yawn, catching her eye and frowning. "Uh, why?"_

_"Could I try growing something?" she asked, putting on a prize winning smile in hope of convincing him. Beetlejuice did not look impressed. "Pretty please? Just something small," she begged. His hair sprouted into a soft pink at the tips, though by the look on his face he seemed not to notice._

_"Fine, but only 'cause you asked nicely," he grumbled, the pink spreading. It was still subtle, and she hoped he wouldn't catch sight of it walking past a mirror because it was kind of sweet. "What've you got in mind?"_

_Later, Lydia came home from school to Beetlejuice hovering in the living room building an obnoxiously tall Lego tower, and instantly summoned him down to look at the flowers. "Very cute," she said with a smirk, touching a finger to one of the daisies growing through his hair. There's maybe five or six dotted through his hair, all different lengths so they're visible no matter the place on his head._

_"Piss off" he grumbled, but there was a small grin on his face anyway._

_"Are you gonna let me grow stuff? Ivy would look **so** cool-"_

_"I'm not a fucking greenhouse, Scarecrow."_

_"You let **Barbara** plant daisies, you wimp."_

_"Hey- that's different, it's Barbara," he insisted, smacking Lydia with a couch cushion before she had the chance to say anything else. They two of them descended into a scarily serious pillow fight that she decided to step away from, but she only got halfway up the attic stairs before the weight of his words smacked her in the chest. It's_ _**different** with her? Why does she want that to mean something? It's just **Beetlejuice** , a hundreds of years old demon who smells like rust and grave dirt and (as far as she knows) has been alone for centuries. _

_"You okay, honey?" Adam called from the attic, unfreezing her from where she was motionless on the stairs._

_"Yeah! Just- uh, stubbed my toe," she replied, forcing herself to carry on walking. What she didn't say, was_ _**fuck** , even though it was what she was thinking._

_-_

So yeah, maybe she's kind of known for a while. At first, she ignored it because of the way it made guilt burn in her stomach. It definitely took some... _thinking_ before she could aggressively point at herself in the mirror and chant, "do not blame yourself for feelings you can't control, _Barbara._ " After she got past that milestone, there was then the whole _am I actually alright with my feelings being for **Beetlejuice**? _Her logical instinct was to say no, he's a weird old demon who probably never learned anything about consent. But then inner Strong Barbara said _are your reservations based in truth or are you just afraid?_ And, when she really thinks about him, it does feel like he's changed a lot.

_In the very first days they had met Beetlejuice, he would be constantly appearing in their bedroom at convenient times, AKA just before they were planning on getting undressed. It was a stark contrast to now - a couple of weeks ago, he had rushed in without knocking, chatting excitedly about a school project Lydia wanted his help with. Adam had had his back to the door, sleep shirt clutched loosely as he had been in the process of telling Barbara an exciting passage from the book he'd read that day. Once, he would've sat down and winked, or said something stupid like "by all means, don't stop for me."_

_It took Lydia to explain the concept of 'privacy' to him (because she's the only person he **completely** listens to) for him to stop, but that was when Barbara stopped being mad and started feeling sympathetic in a funny sort of way. Because it made complete sense - he wasn't trying to be creepy because sex wasn't taboo to him in any way, he was just acting normally. To him, anyway. And knowing that didn't fix how he'd made them uncomfortable, but his immediate change in actions did._

_On the night he'd burst in, his hair **shocked** into a neon highlighter pink and he'd spun around instantly as if he'd walked in on them naked. "Totally forgot to knock- my badsies."_

_Even when Adam had laughed and said, "You can turn around now, BJ," after he had finished dressing, Beetlejuice kept his fingers clamped over his eyes._

_"It's cool! I'll come back tomorrow," he said, speaking oddly fast, before he clicked his fingers and was gone._

It's not just that- it warms her heart when she sees him with Lydia, because it's clear from every word he says to her that he really, really loves her. It feels certain to her that they'll truly be friends forever. 

Now there was just the matter of whether to tell Adam or not. No- that's not right, she'd feel weird not telling him because she tells him everything. She's trying to work out how to tell him whilst simultaneously communicating to him that her relationship with him is not worth sacrificing for anything. And that's not very easy. Adam is fond of jumping to conclusions.

"Uh, B-man to B-town?" Beetlejuice frowns, putting the vase down on the kitchen bench and waving a hand in front of her face. "You space out there?"

"Uh- yeah!" she says, scooping the vase up in her arms and escaping from the kitchen before she can embarrass herself any further. Unfortunately, she only gets to the doorway before she smacks into Adam and promptly drops her handcrafted vase. "Shit."

"Oh- honey, your vase! Oh God, I'm so sorry, I know this was one of your favourites. Oh, want me to try and fix it?"

It's pretty much crumbled at their feet, so she feels as if the fixing is going to be not very worth it. But before she opens her mouth to tell him it's not his fault and she should've watched where she was going, Beetlejuice appears between them, waving his hand over the vase. Slowly, the ceramic shards reassemble, climbing up one another until it's standing up on the floor completely unharmed. Sure, the roses she picked this morning are suddenly dead and shrivelled, but the vase looks newer than it did this morning. "Sorry 'bout the roses. Not very good at fixing living things. Still, saved your ass, right?" Beetlejuice grins, throwing an arm around Adam's shoulder (who is slightly taller than him, therefore making the whole picture slightly comical.) But Barbara isn't looking at how sweet the height difference is- she's looking at Adam.

When you're married for someone for over ten years, you learn how to ready every single facial expression they have, no matter how obscure. That's why when Adam looks down and blushes a soft pink, not pulling away from the demon at all, a strange feeling swirls around in her stomach. _Adam likes Beetlejuice_ , her mind supplies, though her ears don't really believe her. _Why didn't he tell me?_ Should she be annoyed? Adam laughed nervously, a little too late, and shrugged the demon off. "Lucky old me," he agrees, but his voice is ever so tight. It's not enough for Beetlejuice to pick up on, she doesn't think (and if he notices he certainly doesn't give anything away,) but it's there and the second realisation hits her. Adam might have feelings for Beetlejuice, she's pretty convinced, but that doesn't mean Adam himself has accepted that.

Maybe she just needs to wait. It's not like they're going to run out of time. 

-

It turns out that Barbara doesn't need to coax anything out of Adam at all. 

She wakes up at some point in the middle of the night - at exactly what point, she's unsure, because after they died they had to take the clock out of their room due to suddenly being incredibly light sleepers - and stretches out, hoping to find Adam's loose pajama shirt or hair to thread her fingers through. Strangely, the bed is empty. Adam's never one to just leave without telling her, and it's hardly like he could be in the toilet, because they don't use toilets anymore now they're dead. Just in case she's being silly, she makes herself lie in bed for a few more minutes because she doesn't want to make a fuss over nothing. But at least ten minutes past and he doesn't return. Maybe he went downstairs and fell asleep?

Mildly concerned, she gets up and summons her slippers, intent on going downstairs when she hears a soft sniff from the roof. Normally, she prefers walking to places (despite how Beetlejuice practically floats everywhere and constantly ridicules both of them for not doing the same) but now she's kind of real-worried so she doesn't waste time. Adam's faced away from where she floats through the roof, knees close to his chest and head tucked in between them. She can loosely feel the wind; it's not the same as it ever was when she was alive, but it's enough to make her a tiny bit chilly. "Sweetheart," she says softly, trying her best not to startle him. "It's cold, come back inside."

"I need to- to tell you something," is all she gets in response, voice sounding overused and afraid as if he's been crying. She doesn't speak in fear of spooking him, choosing instead to sit down next to him and wrap an arm around his shoulders and coax him to keep talking. "I want- I've tried so hard for this to- to not be true, to make this go away but I _can't_ , I've tried everything," he blurts out, shaking his head when she shushes him to calm him and starts rubbing his arm. "No, please, you're- you'll hate me when I tell you."

"What, did you cheat on me?" she tries, aiming to lighten it because she's comfortable with the idea that Adam would never, ever do that.

" _No_ \- no, to betray your trust like that would _kill_ me," he insists, smiling weakly despite how tired he looks. "Poor choice of words, but you know."

"Then I promise it's not as bad as you think it is, Adam. Look at me," she coaxes, coming to rest her hand on his cheek. "You can tell me anything."

"I- shit, _shit,_ " he half whispers, momentarily burying his face in his hands. "I think I have feelings for- for someone else." Barbara smiles, because she's been waiting for this for a while now, but before she can reassure him he's already speaking again. "It's okay if you- if that makes you want to leave, or if you want _me_ to leave I understand. I just, please let me say goodbye to everyone, you can tell them why if you really want-"

" _Adam_ ," she cuts in, clamping a hand over his mouth for good measure. "Regardless of these feelings, do you still have feelings for me?" she asks, smiling when he nods desperately. "Then stop panicking, honey. I've known there was something going on between you and Beej for a couple of weeks- hey, it's okay, I _promise_." 

"You've known? Jeez, is it really that obvious? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I could tell you weren't ready- and that's okay, it's a big deal to come to terms with. If you'd let me speak for a second, I could've told you I've been kinda feeling the same thing."

"I- for Beetlejuice?" Adam says, slapping a hand over his mouth. "Crap, do you think he heard it?" They sit in silence for a minute, but there's no sign of him. "Must be sleeping. But- you're serious, Barb? You feel the same?" She nods, smiling across at him, but he still looks panicked. "So- I don't _know_ , Barbara. I don't know what to _do_ here. This is all- it's so new, and it's so _much_." 

"Adam, honey. Take a deep breath, okay? We've just had like, a feelings overload. I think we should maybe sleep on it and talk about it in the morning?" she tries, but the words are barely out of her mouth before he tries to protest. "What if I said, I promise no matter what comes of this, I'll stick by you?"

He smiles softly, pressing his forehead against hers. "I think that would definitely help."

Leaning forward, Barbara presses a soft kiss against his lips. "Come on. Let's get back to bed, okay?"

**\---**

Beetlejuice was asleep at the foot of Lydia's bed when someone said his name, perfectly content with not moving for several more hours. Unfortunately, the second he hears it he's wide awake, so he decides he might as well investigate. Without much thought, he floats upwards into the attic to see whether it was the Maitlands- except, there's nobody in there. The skylight is open, and after a moment of being completely still he hears them speaking out on the roof.

 _"So- I don't know, Barbara. I don't know what to do here. This is all- it's so new, and it's so much,_ " comes Adam's voice, distressed and scratchy. That's weird. 

_"Adam, honey. Take a deep breath, okay? We've just had like, a feelings overload. I think we should maybe sleep on it and talk about it in the morning?"_ Barbara responds, soft enough that he can barely hear. _"What if I said, I promise no matter what comes of this, I'll stick by you?"_

There's a pause, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable. _"I think that would definitely help."_ It's hard to hear, but he thinks maybe they've kissed. His chest aches in a way he doesn't really understand. 

_"Come on. Let's get back to bed, okay?"_

Shit. Immediately, he lets himself drop through the floor, ending up on his ass in the downstairs bathroom. That's kind of super weird, right? When he hovers through Lydia's bedroom door she's snoring softly, sweet and ugly at the same time and he kind of thinks she's the best thing ever. The whole Maitlands thing definitely requires more thought and he plans to investigate much further, but if they're going to sleep he may as well do the same. He'll do some soul-searching in the morning. Maybe.

Predictably, he wakes up only after Lydia opens the blinds, showered and fully dressed and laughing in his face when he hisses at her. "Come on, you wanna eat or no? Maitlands aren't up yet so we can commandeer the kitchen."

"They're not up? That's- oh, yeah," he yawns, remembering Adam and his presumed tears. "Hey, think you could teach me to make pancakes?"

"You are unteachable. You cannot be taught." Lydia glares down at him on her bed, sizing him up. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he pouts, rolling off the bed and standing up. He follows her out of the bedroom, dutifully ignoring the eye-roll she gave him and waiting what he deems to be a cool enough amount of time before clearing his throat. "Can we, uh- we should probably make enough for Babs and Adam, right? Like, 'cause they always cook for us. Or whatever."

"If you say so," Lydia smiles, using her infuriating know-it-all voice but not saying anything more on the subject. "So, got an apron?"

By the time the Maitlands enter the kitchen hand in hand, they've cooked a monstrous stack of pancakes. "Is this- for us?" Adam frowns, poking the plate as if he's expecting something to jump out at him. "Thank you, Lydia."

"Don't look at me," she says, sticking her hands up in the air. "It was Beej's idea. He said you guys're always cooking."

"I flipped _all_ of them," he says proudly, hoping his _ghost with the most_ apron is impressing them, and that Lydia doesn't tell them that the first two he flipped stuck to the ceiling. "What d'you think? You like them?"

Adam smiles, finishing his mouthful before speaking because he's all boring and polite. "This is so _thoughtful_ of you, Beej. Thank you so much!" Before he can brush off the compliment, Adam's coming past for another pancake, sliding past him so close that their hips touch. Lydia snorts, nearly choking on her mouthful of pancake. 

" _Wow_ , Beetlejuice, I didn't know your hair went _that_ colour," she taunts, giggling as she watches him catch sight of it in the glass of the oven. Shit, it's _pink_. It's never done this before. Both Adam and Barbara are staring with a mixture of confusion and barely suppressed smiles.

"Uh, yeah, well you know what? I actually have to go, like, right now," he blurts out, throwing a smoke bomb at the floor. Perfectly, it doesn't work. "I'll just- the door- yeah." The second he's out of the backdoor he just scales the house and re-enters Lydia's bedroom, deciding the wardrobe is a sufficient hiding spot to ride out his embarrassment. " _Seriously_?" he grumbles, lightly pulling through the tufts of his hair as if that's going to change anything. "All the bad-ass impressive colours out there, and you chose _pink_? It's not even a _cool_ pink." 

As if on cue to soothe his embarrassment, the spider who lives in the bottom corner of Lydia's wardrobe wanders up his crossed leg and settles on his knee. It's a huntsman, who Beetlejuice always feels bad for (and lets in to the house if nobody is looking) because they can't make webs, which is like, the coolest part of being a spider. This one has been in the wardrobe for like, a month now, but only with Lydia's permission; the deal is that he isn't allowed to bite anyone, or come out of the wardrobe if anyone other than her or Beetlejuice are in the room. In exchange, he gets to hide in there where it's not windy or raining and eat all other bugs that make their way into the hidden corners of the room. He's pretty small for a huntsman - there's one at the bottom of the garden who Lydia said had a leg span of 12 inches. He's always been kind of bad with estimating distance or length, but he can tell his spider is much smaller than this. Oh well. He's much better conversation than the bigger spider.

Time goes quickly when you're having fun, so he's probably curled up in the wardrobe for a couple of hours with the spider before someone knocks on the wardrobe door. Before he can tell the spider it's alright, it scales his shoulder and seems to bury itself in his hair. "Beej? Wipeout is on, wanna come watch?" Barbara asks through the oak door, thankfully having the good sense to step away in preparation for him to burst the door open in excitement. "I'll put the popcorn on, then we can holy _shit_ , there's- spider, spider in your _hair_ ," she practically squeaks. 

"I didn't think you were scared of anything," he remarks in awe, coaxing the spider down into his hands. "Don't worry, Babs, he lives in the wardrobe."

"Take him _outside_ , Beetlejuice!"

"You want me to evict him from his _house_? He pays _rent_ , Barbara," he frowns, placing him back in his hair for good measure. "That's just plain rude."

"If you're walking around with spiders in your hair I am not coming anywhere near it," she promises, which is enough to make him hastily let the spider crawl back into one of Lydia's boots.

"Wait- you _don't_ touch my hair." His hands feel kind of empty without the spider, but popcorn is one of his favourite breather snacks so he follows her downstairs anyway.

"Hm? Yes I do," she says, as if this is something that is well-known around the household. "Y'know, like, on the sofa? When you're napping?" she prompts. Clearly his look is still very blank, because her eyebrows shoot up after a second of staring at him. "Oh my gosh, I thought you _knew_!"

"But- how would I know if I'm _asleep_?"

"Because- I only do it because you put your head on my lap! And you get all- all twitchy until I start doing it. God, I can't believe I've been doing it this whole time and you didn't even realise, that's so weird-"

"Woah," he interrupts, holding his hands up in surrender. "Chill. I'm not bothered. If you wanna keep doing it, I don't care." He hopes the meaning of his words seep through his voice, even if he won't actually say them, just _love me, love me, love me_. "Popcorn?"

They're running behind now, so he warms the bag in his hands until every kernel pops at once, feeling kind of soft in the head when Barbara smiles and says, "Very impressive," bumping his hip as she steals it from his hands and walks over to the couch. He waits before she's settled before going over there, ending up with his head next to her lap and his legs thrown over the arm of the couch. Why ghosts don't hang out upside down more often, he has no idea, because it's much more fun to view stuff the wrong way up and now they're dead there's no blood rushes. Infinite upside down time. 

Maybe, _maybe_ it would be untruthful to say he wasn't lying like this to also _casually_ place his head as close to Barbara's hands as possible. He'll die before he actually asks her to touch his hair, because that shit is _hard_ , but it's hardly his fault if she decides to do it. Except, the popcorn disappears after ten minutes and then they're halfway through the episode and she hasn't made any move to indicate she's even considering touching his hair. This is devastating, because the episode is going to end soon, and then he might have missed his chance completely. So, he says a quick prayer just in case God/Satan is in a good mood and wants to help out someone who makes no effort to worship them. Then, slowly enough that there's a chance she might not even notice, he lets himself slip down the sofa until his head is resting against Barbara's thigh. He can feel her staring at him but he stubbornly keeps his eyes on the TV, hoping he's doing a good job at pretending this is all very inconspicuous. 

They're both completely still for what feels like far too long. Beetlejuice begins to count the number of exits in the room, because his plan has obviously completely backfired.

"You could've just asked," Barbara says, so quietly that he thinks he might have misheard. "Move up, dummy," and then her fingers are slowly but surely threading through his hair. His body's primal reaction is to go completely stiff, because people don't just _touch_ Beetlejuice. The most non-sexual contact he's had since being born is when Lydia held his hands for like, an _hour_ because she wanted to paint his nails and he kept smudging them. But he forces the initial reaction away and leans in to her touch, because it does feel super awesome once he gets over how terrifying it is. Her hand moves with more certainty, lightly scratching at his scalp, and before he can warn her a soft rumbling vibrates out of his chest. "Did you- are you _purring_?"

Beetlejuice scowls, crossing his arms not dissimilar to how toddlers do in a sulking fit. "I can't help it."

She snorts, but her hand doesn't falter. "No, it's sweet, don't worry. You're like a cat."

"Cats are hellspawn," he grumbles, leaning further in to her touch exactly like a cat and forcing all of his willpower into not being visibly affected by the fact that she just called him sweet.

-

"Beetlejuice?" Adam calls from the garden door to where he's curled up in the grass, basking in the sun. "Can you please pass me the book on the garden table?"

Yawning, he rolls onto his back and floats gently up in the air to save him from having to push himself into a standing position. Adam's got his reading glasses on, along with a faded t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts that make Beetlejuice drop to the grass. "Loving the outfit, sexy," he calls, summoning the book into his hand and waving it. "Why don't you come join me in the sun?"

"You know I can't leave the house, Beej," he sighs.

"Yeah, are you sure? Garden is normally legally part of the house, meaning it doesn't count as _leaving_ leaving."

"Positive," he confirms, leaning on the air of the open door as if there's an invisible barrier. "Book, please?"

"Hm," he frowns, tossing the book over without much thought and not noticing as it sails over Adam's head. "Hey, you know when you guys like, died? Like when you fell through the floor?"

"I am familiar with that, yes."

"Do we still have all those broken bits of floor?"

Two hours later, he's sweating (something he didn't think his body still did) and has stripped down to his shirt and a pair of striped shorts. Delia comes outside as he's hammering in the last jagged piece of wood and overdramatically gasps, running over to his side. "What in the _hell_ have you done to the garden?"

"Fence," he articulates, pointing at the fence he's just built by hand. Sure, it looks kind of mega homemade, but it gives the garden character he thinks it was previously lacking. "It's for- look, don't tell anyone, alright? It's so Adam and Barb can come in the garden. The fence had to be made from broken bits of the house for it to work, but 'cause it's the house I was summoned in, I can't use my power to effect it."

"That's why it looks so... like that?" she says, forcefully cheerful and staring at the thin bits of old curtain connecting the broken wood. "You use your power _in_ the house all the time, though."

"Yeah, but like. I dunno how it works, I haven't read the handbook in like, a century," he sighs, wiping the mud from his arm and ignoring Delia's quiet _oh, so you **can** read_. "I can't _move_ the house, 'cause then I would have free reign over like, the whole world, and apparently that's bad. So me trying to shift or cut these boards once they were outside of the house did, in fact, _not_ work."

"That's so sweet that you did all this just for the Maitlands, honey," she coos, and it's only then that he notices how ridiculous her sunglasses are. "Ooh! I'll go get Adam, I have to see the look on his face." She dashes off before he can tell her not to and he's left in the garden, watching the poorly constructed fence look more and more shit by the second. Maybe this was a stupid idea. It might not even work, and then he's done all this work and Delia's gotten Adam excited for nothing, and-

"Holy crap," Adam says from a few feet away, one foot inside and one foot firmly in the grass. This is as far as profanity goes for him. "Oh my gosh, how- did you do this? I don't- what?" he stutters out, but he's beaming, _glowing_ in the sunlight and smiling wider than Beetlejuice has ever seen. In the glass of the sliding door, he sees his hair flush pink. For fuck's sake.

"It's no biggie- dunno how you never thought of this, really," he deflects, shoving his hands into his shorts' pockets. "I know the fence kind of looks shit, but you're good with all that woodwork stuff, I'm sure you'll figure out how to fix it, as long as you don't break the links between them 'cause then you'll die, I think."

"Oh, Beetlejuice, this is- I could never have asked for this, I can't _believe_ \- Barbara!" he hollers, waving like an idiot when she sticks her head out of the attic window. "Come down here!" he calls, and she's at the doorway within seconds. "Honey, there's a fence! Beej built us a _fence_ , come outside!" Hesitantly she reaches out in attempt to press her hand up the barrier, gasping when it's obviously not there.

"Oh my _fuck_ ," she whispers in delight, dashing out onto the grass and throwing her arms up in the air. It's comical, this tiny blonde lady dancing around in the grass with no music playing, but he kind of feels warm on the inside watching her. "You did this?" she says, turning to Beetlejuice with wide eyes.

He shugs, lightly toeing the grass with his boot. "It's just a shitty fence. Seriously, don't break it - if the link snaps while you're outside, you're gone." He had this whole ramble planned out in order to distract them into letting him slink away unnoticed, but he barely gets to finish the sentence before Barbara is pouncing on him, clinging to his side and laughing. Woah. Her skin is all soft and warm, and the fabric of her dress is gentle against his legs and he it takes him far too long to realise he's supposed to hug her back. He's barely come to terms with this when Adam springs up at his other side, wrapping a warm arm around his neck. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

Barbara lets go first, stepping back to look at his face. "You okay, Beej?"

Adam immediately does the same, seemingly making an effort to show his hands. "I'm sorry, I guess I always forget hugs aren't everyone's _thing_ ," he chuckles, as if to say it doesn't matter that Beetlejuice reacts weirdly to like, everything. "But-"

"Hugs are my thing," he grounds out, voice probably coming across as angry because he's having to force the words out. "I just- don't get that many, y'know?" The words feel too serious, too real, so he grins reflexively, turning to look at the fence. "For someone who's never used a woodsaw on actual wood, I'd say this ain't too bad."

Wordlessly, they smile and nod before sharing a look with each other than he doesn't really understand. "It's awesome, B," Barbara says, trailing over to the edge of the garden to touch some of Delia's roses. Adam looks over at him, as if asking for permission, lightly hugging him after there's no objection. 

"Awesome," he repeats in Beetlejuice's ear. His head doesn't stop ringing for the rest of the afternoon.

-

"Something's going on," he announces, appearing over Lydia's bed without knocking. When she explained privacy to him, she mentioned how it's less important during emergencies, and if this isn't an emergency he doesn't know what is. Lydia's sat in her desk chair, folding an intricate flower out of what looks to be her homework and not turning around to look at him. "Lydia, there's something wrong with Adam and Barbara."

This gets her attention. She swings around, homework extra forgotten now. "What d'you mean? Are they okay?"

"Like, they're physically fine," he frowns, because he's not _sure_ what's wrong. "It's just- I dunno, uh-"

"Spit it out," she deadpans, reminiscent of when Charles catches him trying to eat glass. 

"They won't stop _touching_ me. It's freaking me out."

Lydia takes one look at him hovering a couple inches over her bed and bursts into laughter. Like, _real_ laughter. Despite her appearance, she's actually quite smiley, especially when Beetlejuice convinces her to join in on some kind of evil scheme. Belly laughter hasn't ever been her thing, but apparently she's thrown that out the window, judging by the way she's struggling to stop and is hunched over her chair. Beetlejuice glares at her until the windowpanes start rattling. Eventually, she stops laughing. "I don't know why you think this is a laughing matter. I'm serious. _Deadly_ serious."

"I know, that's why it's so fucking funny," she snorts, trying not to start laughing again. "Don't look at me like that, I dunno how you're not seeing the irony here."

"Nice try, Scarecrow, but I don't even know what that _means_."

"It's like- uh. You've been touching them since you met them. You flirt with both of them like, non-stop, and when it makes them squirm you do it even more."

"That's different," he pouts, because it totally is. "That's like, expected by now. It's our whole dynamic - I flirt, I get rejected, we carry on with our lives. Now they're like, flirting back, and it's completely throwing my whole vibe. You know Adam called me sexy yesterday? _Me_."

"Yeah, they must be sick in the head if they're doing that," she says, nodding as if this is a serious scientific discussion. "So, just for clarification; you're admitting to me that you are romantically clueless and view me as someone with superior knowledge?"

"What, you want it in writing or something?"

"That would be great- I'm thinking of framing it, actually," she quips, laughing into the corner of her elbow when he gets up to leave. "Okay, okay- wait, Beej. Sit down." He eyes her warily, reluctantly sitting cross-legged on her rug and listing off all the weird stuff the Maitlands have been doing over the past week or so. It started with just the touching - when he first started staying here (again) they pretty much kept clear, and up until recently they've always been set on _personal space_ and annoying stuff like that. But he thinks between the pair of them, they've 'accidentally' bumped up against him or touched his hand or knocked his elbow more in the last week than has ever happened in his whole life. Lydia muses over this, throwing him the flower to snack on. "Have you considered that after you coming on to them for a year, they might've finally come round to the idea?"

"Don't be stupid."

"I- _god,_ you're a stubborn little bitch," she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "Look- you're not gonna stop feeling like somethin' fishy is going on until you work out what it is, right? So you may as well try and work out if that's the case."

"I bet they're planning on like, exorcising me, but they feel kinda bad about it, so they're being super nice before it happens." 

"Are you listening to me? Like, at all?" He stops absentmindedly fiddling with the tufts of her rug and looks up at her, remembering how she said eye contact is super important when you're talking to people. "Let me explain this in Beetlejuice-speak. I am right. You are not going to believe me without proof. To get proof, you need to ask them about it. _Nicely_." She doesn't quite have him convinced, which must be obvious on his face, because she rolls her eyes and pokes him in the cheek kind of hard. "Fine. If I'm wrong, I'll owe you. Normal rules apply." The first time Lydia said she'd owe him, he _apparently_ misunderstood that that kind of thing came with unspoken boundaries, like not being allowed to ask for body parts in return. He could totally make her catch him some beetles to snack on, though, so he figures it's worth a shot. "Deal?"

"Deal," he decides, holding out his hand for a fist-bump because that's their new thing now.

"Also," she says, turning back around to indicate this is probably going to be something gross and mushy. For good measure he does the same. "I'm literally always gonna laugh at you," is what he gets, and _seriously_? "But. I'll always be here for advice."

"Whatever," he quips, but he ruffles her hair before he leaves. 

Dinner isn't awkward, because Delia will talk to high Heavens in a bout of silence, and all it takes is the right comment from Beetlejuice to set Lydia off on some kind of rant. Couple this with all the normal people at the table speaking normal amounts, and there's normally at least two conversations going on at any given time. So no, dinner isn't _awkward_ , but it's something. Adam's knee keeps brushing his, slight enough to be accidental but regular enough that unless he's developed a leg spasm, it's not accidental. Barbara _winks_ at him after he makes a suggestive comment about Delia's newest sculpture. He's planning hiding on the roof to decide how to play this game (after he 'helps' Delia with the washing up because it's his turn on Wednesdays) but the couple corner him in front of the sink. "This is the first sunset we've remembered to watch now we can go in the garden," says Adam.

"You should join us!" Barbara adds in a way that makes it sound like she isn't going to take no for an answer.

After looking to Delia for permission and getting a warm nod in response, he shrugs and follows them out into the garden. A cool breeze is whistling through the garden but it's still warm enough that he's not cold. Barbara sits on her knees in the middle of the grass, patting the ground next to her for him to sit (which he does without question.) But instead of sitting on Barbara's other side, Adam sits on his left, sandwiching him in between the couple.

They sit in silence, watching the sun sink in the sky. Beetlejuice hasn't ever done anything like this before - it's just light getting less light but slowly, so he never thought it was worth his time to watch - and he's not completely sold on the idea still. But. The Maitlands are warm against his side, and the way the sky is loads of different colours is pretty sweet. It's so calm. Maybe now is a good time to ask?

"Okay, I'll bite- what's wrong with you guys?" Both of them shuffle back and now he's cold. He's desperately studying their faces, looking for something to give it away, but there's nothing there other than confusion. "You know, with all the- the knee touching, and the elbow touching, and the flirting, _Barbara._ "

"Okay, uh," she stammers, sounding nervous and uncharacteristically Barbara. "Beetlejuice, we- we've been meaning to talk to you. We just- it's hard, and we didn't really know how."

Damn it. He sighs, leaning forward to stare at the fence and not either of them. "Look. I appreciate all the buttering me up, but I'd much rather just get it over with."

Silence. Adam clears his throat and saying, "Uh, what?"

"You're getting rid of me, right? Kind of unnecessary - I would've just left if you really wanted me to. 's your house." He goes to stand up, making some kind of really embarrassing yelp when they both put a hand on his shoulder to keep him down.

"Beetlejuice," Adam says, voice soft and unsure which is _scary_ so he squeezes his eyes shut. "Here goes nothing. We, uh- we _like_ you."

"Uh, I like you guys too?"

"We are _romantically interested_ in you," Barbara says, and _oh._

_Oh._

Shit, this means Lydia was right. What's he supposed to say now? Considering Lydia was so certain this was gonna be what happened, he probably should have planned a response just in case. 

"It's okay if you don't feel the same, Beej," she says, smiling so softly that his eyes sting. "We aren't telling you this because we expect anything from you in return." Shit, they've taken his inability to format a sentence as a no.

"We just thought you should know," says Adam, "but that's all, alright?"

"No," he finally says, voice all gross and gravelly. "Are you kidding? I kissed you both the day I met you - don't worry, I watched Lyd's consent powerpoint, I know why that was bad - and I pretty much haven't left you alone since. Feel like it's kind of obvious, y'know? I just-" he stops, shuddering slightly. Definitely because it's cold and for no other reason. "It never crossed my mind that you might like, actually feel something. For me."

"Like. _Never?_ " Adam frowns, as if this is stupid.

"Not fucking once."

"Well, here we are!" Barbara says brightly, but it's over-exaggerated and he thinks _shit, maybe this is real_. 

"I've never done this shit before."

"Neither have we," Adam reminds him, inching ever so closer, "so this is new to all of us."

"No- shit, I mean like. Look. Sex is my thing," is how he decides to start it, unable to help himself from grinning when Adam blushes. "I've had my work-experience, picked up the qualification, you get the idea. I have _never_ had anything like this before." He's so overwhelmed, feels gross and uncertain and when Barbara looks like she's about to try and reassure him again he can't cope. "Yeah, I know it's new to you, but you've had each other for- for however long, I dunno. You know how to be in a- a _relationship,_ " he spits out, voice wobbling because they haven't even said if that's what they want, "you know how to love someone." Shit, he really didn't mean to say _that._ Fuck Freud and his slips. Still, he'd probably die again if they made him address _that_ , so he powers on. "I just. Don't wanna do anything wrong."

"Lie down," Barbara instructs, which is like a whole turnaround from where he thought this conversation was going but he does it anyway. Before he can question it she lifts his head into her lap, gently stroking through his hair. 

"In relationships, it's not really about doing stuff right or wrong- I mean, obviously there's always some stuff that people would consider wrong, like cheating, for example. So there will be some baseline stuff we'll have to agree on, but we can talk that out later. It's not like- like a test," Adam tries, clearly scrabbling for an explanation that is going to make sense to Beetlejuice. This reassurance bullshit should probably go both ways, so without looking Beetlejuice shifts so his hand is next to Adam's thigh (though he's really not expecting Adam to take it and like, actually hold it.) "In a test, it's all about doing like, as much right as possible, and bad stuff happens if you don't do well. It's not like that here. As long as- uh. Barb?"

"As long as you're trying your hardest then that's all we want. I'm sure you'll make mistakes, and we'll make mistakes, but it's just about having each other's best interests at heart. That's all we could ever ask for." Her fingers don't stop running through his hair, probably the only think anchoring him to the ground at the moment.

"How would it work?" he eventually asks. He feels out of his depth.

"We're asking you to be with us as an equal, and we would want you to see us in the same way. Like- we don't have to always do everything as a three, and I know you'll be easing into stuff 'n all that jazz, but we don't want anyone feeling left out." 

Is he still feeling overwhelmed? Yeah, but not in the normal way that makes his chest feel tight and closed spaces scare him. There's a little bit of that, but there's also this tingling feeling, bubbling in his stomach and the back of his throat and dancing through his head every time Barbara touches it. It's warming him from the inside in a way he hasn't really felt before - it's been there in snippets, like when Charles called him 'son' or when Lydia said she was happy he came to visit her mom - but never like this. It's fleeting in the physical sense, as always, but this time there's the promise of something more.

"You guys really want that? Like, with me?" he asks, sitting up and forcing himself to look at them. They're both smiling, the warmth contagious to the point where he's sat there with a big stupid grin on his face to match them. 

"Yes," they say, slightly out of sync but still the same. "Do you want that?" Barbara asks, and her face still says _it's okay to say no_. Except, he doesn't want to say no.

"Yeah- yes. More than anything," he admits, but then that sounds kind of super embarrassing. "Wait- can I try that again? Maybe something less cringe," he says. But now they're both laughing, leaning into his sides and now he's laughing too and they're all just lying on the grass together laughing.

 _Here goes nothing_ , he thinks, but it doesn't feel scary anymore. Just exciting. 

**Author's Note:**

> credit to (@)cirilie on tumblr for the flower growing idea! their comics are awesome have a look. the garden idea was inspired by @woshuwoo here on ao3!
> 
> hope you liked it! do you want more goldenrat?


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